Dante Infernus

Trials and Tribulations of Dantus Infernus

In 2020, Edmund Dantus Infernus Rum Ham Derr (Dante), then Dylan, was found as a stray in Dillon County, South Carolina. He, stinking badly and having no less than three different types of worms, was shipped north to Pennsylvania, where I met him. 

When I came upon Dylan, he had already been returned once. I was also told not to pet the back half of his body or else he would bite me. In my delusion, neither of these facts deterred me, along with my failure to notice his badly swollen, infected testicles. I happily signed over the whited-out name of the person before me and brought Dante home the same day! 

Despite his clean bill of health provided at the time of his adoption, Dante had many health conditions, including heartworm. He also proved to be far more aggressive and reactive than originally disclosed. He did this fun thing where he'd desperately seek out attention and then bite people when he received it! The behaviorist I spent $500 to see called his behavior "confusing." Relatable, honestly. 

I contacted the people I adopted him from about my numerous concerns. They told me I could bring him back for a refund, but he would probably be put down. 

But I like a challenge!

Five years (and much money, training, and Prozac) later, we can finally put the debate to rest and assert that Dante *is* in fact a dog--- not a Lilo and Stitch-esque alien sent to punish me. 

In his free time, Dante enjoys waging a multi-front war against bikes, tearing apart cardboard cup carriers, delimbing pink monkeys, making love to his wife, Lamb Chop, and screaming. He also has a passion for fashion, evident by his large collection of bow ties. 

Long may he reign. 

Bow Ties are hand-made and should not subjected to harsh pulling or other rough handling. Bow Ties are for outer wear only and should not be ingested. In case of ingestion notify proper health authority as soon as possible if you suspect life threatening issues. Purchaser releases Bow Tie Atticus from any legal action and does not hold Bow Tie Atticus responsible should a bow tie become ingested. Non-toxic hot melt adhesives used and defined as not hazardous by code 29 CFR1910.1200/Conforms to ASTM D-4236-88. Bow Ties can be gently cleaned with damp cloth.